It's been 2 months since I stopped taking Proscar, that two pills of 5 mg.

Maybe these two pills intensified my depression and apathy?

But what I feel is complete loss of interest in basically everything, especially sex (i.e. porn). I have absolute no urge of masturbating even if I see hottest girl in the city. I have only feeling of beauty, like for beautiful red rose... But as with rose that doesn't make me horny, just amazed by beauty, same is for any extra sexy girl. Spontaneous erections are gone, maybe once in a leap year they happen. I never wake up with an erection. I never again fantasize about sex or even imagining kissing a girl. These thoughts abandoned me 2 months ago. And never returned. Erection is maintainable, although it tends to weaken. I can get an erection watching porn. What I literally cannot is orgasm. Ejaculate. Before month or so I was able to do so, hardly but eventually I did. Now I just cannot. My lungs and throat start being "bloody" like if I run 1 mile without stopping. I get so exhausted, I stop, erection subsides... And nothing from ejaculation. I am "testing" my ability to perform every second day or so. But it's basically null.

I have been taking loads of supplements including L-Citrulline, Zinc, Butea Superba, Lecithin... I have seen just about no change. Like I permanently transformed my life... From horny young adult looking for someone to have sex with and messing on the internet for 10 hours per day just to chat one more girl to a lazy guy who enjoys sleeping, enjoys good food, listens to music, sometimes melancholic (guess depression) and not more suicidal, but rather looking for pastimes and things that will help me pass quality time. And yep, girls aren't there anymore. I posted on some other subforum here that I was ready to relocate to Philippines to seek wife etc. etc. jada jada...

That was month before... Now I am not saying I am not depressed. I feel quite pulled down and depressed. Again, depression worsened after taking 2 pills of Proscar. Will it really resolve by time? Will I suddenly get horny again? Fantasize? Will I ever regain that zest for women? Will I ever have easy time ejaculating? I am taking antidepressants, but I see no change.

Final thought is that I noticed I became much more emotional on one side and destructive on other side. I cried on one movie, couldn't stop the tears... On other occasion I look into buying weapons and slaughter people. Really... Weird... And in fact, if I regain interest in any activities I had been doing before, excluding porn and sexual stuff, I would actually be more happy than when I couldn't sleep because of sexual thoughts.

So?

Any advice?

Thoughts?