i just wanted to add that i haven't been able to research lately.... i haven't been able to read... play any games... or really anything.... i just pace back and forth.... i guess... i mean i dont even know what im doing you know...

so im not obsesssing like i was before because i know i get obsessive sometimes, but i feel like whats the point....
like you say, im not the doctor here... (and they have told me that before too, to stop playing doctor) so im just giving up.... either they will help me, or they wont... or maybe they cant because im just too broken.... dont think anyone can really truly help me... i cant even help myself...