I'm sorry for last night's post. I sometimes inadequately try to reach out for contact with another person. I say "inadequately" because I always take care of myself by myself.....and then when I feel the need to connect with another human, I really don't know how to express that. I don't focus on the details in my message because they are unimportant. What is important is the despair that I'm feeling. And it is becoming an entity that is beginning to overtake me. I could moan and groan and cry about all the details, and it still would not change what is. I need to medicate so much now just to dampen that despair.....and it really is a losing battle.

I'll return to lurker-dom now.