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Originally Posted by LeavesNoTrace
I’m not sure what I did to deserve this. All of these people seemed to like me better when I was fat. When I couldn’t get a boyfriend. When I lived at home with my parents 10 years ago and had no aspirations other than smoking pot and being their funny friend. Now that things are finally going my way—I feel like I’ve lost everything.
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First I'd like to say that I don't think you did anything to deserve any of it. You are living your life, and doing your thing. Rest assured nothing in what you've described shows evidence of anything except that they are jealous women which, I know... many women can be. Not stating all women are but it's also not an uncommon theme between friends that grow different directions in their lives some of them more prosperous and fortunate than others.
what I see is that you're trying to reconnect with a past that no longer exists, friends that have grown in different directions than you or... maybe haven't grown, and you have... therefore yet another source of jealousy. This entire post even in as little as you've said, seems to me that you're all different people now and that's pretty common in life growing up. It's not inherently a bad thing even if their treatment and attitudes toward you are.
What I am trying to say is there is nothing for you to feel bad about at least not directed at yourself. If anything I would be angry that they treated you as they did but even then you have to acknowledge that maybe they are stuck in their lives and unhappy and anyone contrasting that and moving on is going to bring this out of them. also. They are obviously quite immature and maybe you've grown up a bit and they just haven't.
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I’m not sure where to go from here. Do I try to repair these friendships or just let things fall where they may? I have no idea how to make new friends, and whenever I try, people get busy or totally flake-out, making me feel completely rejected. A lot of highs and lows I guess…
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Well it is harder in adult life to figure out how to find friends as we are all busier people and do have other things on our mind. In youth we are forced into a certain social circle (school) day in and day out for 12 yrs of our life. we made friends then because it was not difficult to see the same people everyday and we were forced to interact. In adult life we all go our different directions and we have jobs, pretty much all in different places. There is not the same bond in our coworkers we found in school so that's a hard place to make friends and finding a consistent place to meet people regularly facilitating frienships is difficult too. People here typically mention meet ups and although I haven't been to one, I know that more than a few people here have tried that so perhaps that's an idea.
With your old friends, well the ball is in their court, you really have not done anything to them for you to be the one to reconcile so maybe letting things be is the thing to do.
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I don’t want to be one of those people whose only friend is their boyfriend. That’s never been my style, but it looks like that’s the direction in which I’m heading.
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You have a lot of stuff on your mind and it's hard facing the challenges you have with your bf right now let alone finding the energy to meet new people. don't be too pessimistic about your future. You'll eventually meet people but if not, try what I suggested above.