I haven't self harmed in like couple months, because I've finally been able to realize that self harming is not a good option. (Unfortunately my mind has decided there's only two options: Dying, or unfortunately, living)
Anyways, my self harm used to be so bad I used to need stitches all the time. Like once I was in the bathroom at the hospital and I snuck a blade and I knew I had to be quick and legit in a matter of less than 30 seconds I cut so much and so deep that I needed 83 stitches. And that was 30 seconds. Anyways, my self harm days are over. But as you can see, obviously since I needed so many stitches all the time I have horrific scars. And I mean horrific. I'm 15 and my parents want me to get plastic surgery for my arms like whaaaaaaat??????
Like I honestly don't know if I'm ready for that. Plus I would have to live with the fact that my arms are "fake". I wish I had parents that would tell me it's okay and I should accept my body and be brave and wear short sleeves and not give a **** about what people think and just go out there and do my own thing. But my parents are actually telling me to keep hiding it and that I can never show anyone my scars because it's embarrassing. Sometimes I even ask if I can just wear even like a shirt that goes up to my elbow and my parents said that people will think bad of me. Like why are they trying to protect me? I did this to myself???? And I just don't know what to do. I hate having these scars and I just want them to Never have been on my arms in the first place but I would feel lost without them and I'm just so confused.