**This was supposed to be a reply to the OP. Sorry, I'm kinda new here

Great post!

I think I sprained my neck because I was nodding so much the whole time I read it.

I have gotten pretty good at forcing the word "flashback" out of my mouth before I go away. I have been told that it comes out pretty clear and my wife is grateful, so she knows what it is. She says it looks like I am having a stroke or an epileptic seizure.

I just wish I could think back on my past and ENJOY my memories. I want to not be afraid that any memory at anytime will tear me away from this reality and drop me into a new one.

I always joke with people that don't understand PTSD that my brain is trying to kill me.

That sad thing is, it's sure seems like a pretty accurate description.