He sounds a bit abusive to me.

If you had a good friend who was being abused, would you blame her for being abused? Would you tell her that it's her fault that her husband cheats? No, you wouldn't.

In any relationship, when things go wrong there are things that both parties could do better. However, if one party blames the other and takes no responsibility, then there's not much you can do. Both people need to be willing to work on the relationship. You could be practically perfect and he'd still be blaming others for his bad behavior.