Sometimes we try to minimize what's happened to us to make it easier to get through the day. It's like we distance ourselves from it, making it smaller than it was, because otherwise it's too monstrous to deal with.
But when others hear about it (or in this case, perceive it in other ways?) they don't minimize it, and they're horrified and deeply saddened on our behalf.
Could that be what's happened here? Or did I completely dread your question (not unususl for me!)
Either way, I'm sorry you've known so much sorrow and pain. You have my very best hopes for a better tomorrow