Autumn, i hope it goes well for you with the doc. I know how scary that must feel for you. Did the lithium help you before? I'm wondering what on earth they are going to put me on. My friend on another forum says the first time he took Zyprexa it was like taking Ecstasy. (!!!) I hope whatever they do they also give me a benzo like Xanax or something I can take "on the spot" to make all this anxiety go away. Every day I feel more and more like I'm living in this timeless hell haze without any reference points. Sometimes i wish i were just dead already. Sometimes I wish my Guardians were Destructors so when They took me over they would just make me kill myself. But They are not like that, They are Protectors.