I'm so sorry about your grandfather. I agree that I'd find it cold. I've had this issue with T on occasion, where I've poured out this long e-mail, then at the end I'm like, "Our appointment is at 1 Tuesday, right?" And she's just written back something like, "Yes, 1 on Tuesday, see you then." With no acknowledgment about the rest of the e-mail. I know she reads them because she'll bring them up in session, but if she's taking the time to write back, at least one sentence about what I wrote would be nice.

I will say I didn't really have outside contact with T or marriage counselor for the first year or so, and I did OK without it (the same with a T I saw about 10 years ago). But now that I've experienced it, I think it would be very difficult for me to go without it. Even the p-doc I just started seeing allows it (don't know how much, but I did send her an e-mail with info she requested, and she responded with a fairly friendly e-mail).

Is T2 completely unwilling to compromise? Like allow you 1 e-mail per week, or to contact her if you're in crisis (or close to crisis--as my MC referred to it once, and "urgency" rather than "emergency"). Sometimes just knowing I could reach out if I had to helps, even if I don't reach out. So I'd try talking to her again about it.