Thread: When
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Old Jan 12, 2017, 03:21 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, we finally had something like the relationship mothers and daughters are "supposed" to have all along...

There was some closeness, she didn't behave like a "distant aunt" (and say "what's wrong with that" )

I guess if I'd had siblings I maybe wouldn't have internalised it all, from such an early age..

Or I would have had some real friends, even if it all went wrong eventually

As it was, I had internalised the belief that all emotions were "wrong" and that I was wrong and the cause of something horrible that I didn't understand

(I've mentioned half siblings, but the secrets were... secrets... for so long..)

Maybe the shock of that diagnosis (she had ignored serious symptoms so it had "progressed" very significantly..)..... caused some of her "defences" to break down ? .... and so she became the mother she could have been maybe if the father hadn't hurt her so much (most of which she denied, I was the scapegoat for the whole family )

So yeah... 8 months to "heal" the hurts of decades. She tried. But I'm broken

And the rest of the "family" believed the lies... so now I have no family at all apart from papa bear

(No blood family)

Is all this stuff so "boring" that anyone would feel "indifferent" ?

(This is not about anyone on pc)
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