For me.. I would never in a million years dreamed that I would get a "trigger" as a present from my best friend... and it threw me for a loop.. and sent a shock thru my "DID" system...

Yazaa... a simple plant.. a Christmas catus.. a gift for me..

and.. I am sent back to such a horrendous time.. instantly.. to my uncles place.. where my body was not my own..but belonged to him..

his pride and joy.. a huge Christmas catus.. years and years old...a plant.. that was always center of attention..

I said "thank you" for the plant.. in shock..sick to my tummy..
and.. made it thru a 3 hour long visit...with my friend.. with the plant.. sitting on the pub table.. between us.. I was so relieved when we moved to the couch.. because... I couldn't keep my eyes off of it...

friends... do not want to know.. so I do not tell them...

the "gift" resides on my kitchen counter... I know not what to do with it..

I keep thinking.. that it was perhaps sent.. so I could accept.. so I could heal... so I could perhaps nourish the plant and heal..

But... that is too much to ask... I cannot... just cannot... keep this plant... it symbolizes my pain....

what do I do with the plant? it sits.. and sits.. and sits...