As some of you may or may not know I relapsed this summer after being 23 years free of heroin. I am scheduled to start the clinic next week, I was excited at first but now I am having second thoughts.

I feel like I am giving in by just replacing one opiate with another one. My therapist/drug counselor thinks that the routine of getting up to go there every day will be good for me. I don't know why I am second guessing this decision, the thought of not being able to travel worries me(sometimes I need to for my job) And honestly I am sure some of it is my addiction rearing its head.

What is enticing is the year or more of medically assisted "sobriety" I will gain from this so that I can start to work on some of the issues I am self medicating for. One thing is certain, I cannot keep using and maintain my job, or being a good parent etc....