I commend you for reaching out and trying to figure out how to make this work with her and to help her feel supported. You have no idea how important that is.

I think that while it is different for every person, as justafriend306 mentioned-- sometimes it's just validation. I don't need someone to fix me. I don't need someone to feel sorry for me. But I need someone to say with me "Wow that stinks". Do things they know bring me joy. Maybe little surprises to show you're thinking about the other person. For me, that used to be a surprise coffee when they came home or a little note if they left the house before me. It made me feel important. And it helped make the sadness a little more bearable.

It is going to be rough. You might not even get a response on the outside. But I know that sometimes, I wasn't capable of expressing my gratitude at the time but inside it would feel nice to know someone still cared about me.

For me-- I don't need someone to tell me to see another doctor or to go on another pill. I just need someone to be there with me. To love me unconditionally. To be the light for me because sometimes my own light goes out. To be the strong one. And to let me know in spite of my depression I am still the one they love.

I can't say if this is what your partner needs. Have you asked? That is a slippery slope. But sometimes asking what can help can be a sign of caring. Maybe in a note. So she has time to reply. So she doesn't feel put on the spot.

Maybe leave it with some fresh flowers or a little box of chocolates or whatever she likes and write "I want you to know I care for you. I want to be with you. All of you. The good and the tough. If you ever need me, I am here. I can't say I know what I can do to help you, I am trying and I hope you can see that. If there is something I can do, anything, to make this easier.... please let me know."

Idk. Something like that. Haha. But again, this is what to me would feel better. Depression is so different for each person. So tread carefully and continue to feel out the situation. I cling to people when I'm depressed-- others reject and withdraw.