One thing that I turn to when I am aware of just how much self hatred I am participating in is to think of my life's hardships and diseases on/in another person.

What would I think of that person? Would I loathe them for having major recurrent depressive disorder and PTSD? Would I think less of them for reacting with anger when triggered? Would I judge them in today's world based on their experiences growing up?

NO!

The tricky part is placing myself into that role of 'other person'. I can muster up sympathy and empathy for just about anyone else but when it comes to applying it to my own life I come up dry.

Learning that I am that injured person who has survived some horriffic things and am still breathing today despite many attempts otherwise takes time.

I'm learning that if I wouldn't hate another in my shoes then I cannot realistically express so much self hatred as I'm just as worthy of love and acceptance as anyone I would freely give those things to.

I really admire the things you are examining EV. You're showing a lot of compassion for yourself by your questions and your self-care. I'm proud of ya!!