OK, so my husband, his father and brother go on a yearly trip to Florida...fishing, bonding but also in memory of his mother who loved to go and fish.

I know this. It's something that's happened for the last 8 years or so. I know he LOVES it. I'd move Heaven and earth for him to go down there worry free and have the time of his life that he so deserves. He works like a dog to support this family and be a rock. He's a good man.

He just came to me to search for cheap air fare for this year's trip in January. I was shocked. I didn't even think that he'd consider going this year...that I'd have to explain how difficult it would be for him to do or anything like that. Surely he KNOWS, right? He's been here. He knows the hell and trauma this family has gone through and it's not over yet. He HAS to know this, right?

So tonight while he's talking more of his plans (again without consulting me), I say to him, "I'm really shocked that you even considered going this year. I know you go every year, but I'm just shocked it's even a consideration." He immediately got ticked off (and we don't fight). He was very defensive and acted completely ignorant to the facts of life in this last year.

He was asking STUPID questions...things he already knew...completely minimizing what he's cried about in pain.

I am NOT going to act like everything's fine for him to run away in ignorant bliss. I'm not going to act like I can handle everything NO PROBLEM like superwoman so he can go away for a week. If he goes, he'll damn well know that I don't understand how he could...considering. It's not like he doesn't have the rest of the year to do it.

Things are NOT OK here. My daughter is ill. She's just starting into another what will be lengthy thyroditis due to postpartum hormones. She's already having the severe tachycardia again, back on beta blockers and beginning with the panic/anxiety and other emotional results of hyperthyroidism. This could last a year AND she's got a little baby!

That's not all...

The doctor has already asked her to get the thyroid and goiter out when she was doing good. He may push it now that she's proving to be entering into the postpartum thyroiditis...also, they're not able to stabablize her metabolism well and the goiter's continuing to grow. Surgery could be mandatory at any time really. She's not well and could get alot worse.

Now to make this all really interesting...

I have NO help with my little man and his care, except that which my husband gives me AND my oldest is due to deliver in less than a month!

Umm, yeah, call me whatever, but I think the trip could be put off for a bit!

Thanks for listening to this rant...

KD