Well, then work with a therapist to identify and heal from the underlying trauma. I discussed the concept of possibly being sexually abused as a small child and my ex T said that, "things happen, sometimes painful and emotionally traumatic things, but it does no one any good to hold onto the pain from something that happened so long ago, something you can't really control anymore. What you can control is how you let go of the pain and trauma and live your life the way it was meant to be lived."

She also said you can't change the past, but you can change how you feel and make your future what you want it to be. I know these things are very hard for some folks who've really been hurt and traumatized, so I wouldn't expect it to work easily for everyone. However, they've worked immensely for myself.

Here is a link to an article about letting go of past hurts and moving on. Maybe it'll help, even if it's just a little bit.

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On | World of Psychology