I agree that it's not the client's job to entertain a therapist, but if he is helping more than the others before him, I'd keep him in a heartbeat if this was his major limitation. I do think it could be a health problem that he is unaware of.
However, so frustrating he turns it back on you. Sounds a bit like my therapist. But if he is denying it, I would feel gaslighted, so it would be very triggering to me if he didn't admit it. Maybe he is sleeping some times but not other times when he is starting to fall asleep? It must feel vindicating that the other client had a similar experience.
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he says it seems worse because im more up against feelings of being alone and disconnected.
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Even though he is the one doing something, there is still truth in this that you could learn a lot about yourself from. If you can tolerate it. This gets into some deep stuff, so if you get past the anger, which is good to work through to, this could turn into something helpful to you.
When you get to a certain point of attachment, if you get there (if you want that or are ok with it), someone's flaws can be endearing. Have you ever experienced that?
I know the dialogue you are talking about it. I like the term you coined for this.
I've done it a couple of times, though stopped myself before continuing, telling my therapist I worried I was boring him. To which he said, I'm not there to entertain him...I still hated doing it, but felt it necessary a couple of times in the past. The reason I hated it when I did it, is because my mother did it all the time and I knew what it felt like being on the receiving end. And even knowing that, I didn't stop myself because-it's ok to not be at your best in therapy. Can't think of anything more therapeutic than someone accepting you when you are at your worst. And that acceptance and compassion can be reciprocated to a therapist, someday, if desired, like one who is sleeping.
Just my thoughts.
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Originally Posted by darocka
my therapist is 70 years old and occasionally has seemed to be falling asleep but lately it happens all the time. it seems to happen when i complain and go into my own world and sort of exclude him from the conversation. almost like a complaint monologue.
he seems to doze off for 4-5 seconds at a time. when i confront him on this he says he is not sleeping and just looking at the floor. most recently he said he has deep set eyes and it looks like he is sleeping but he isnt. i swear it seems like he is actually dozing off. to complicate this, i referred a friend to him a while back who fired him because he was sleeping! i really like the therapist and have found him helpful but the sleeping thing has been driving me nuts and its gotten worse and he says it seems worse because im more up against feelings of being alone and disconnected. ive become obsessed with it.
i dont understand how i am imagining this. i told him i am seeking consulation and may find another clinician to which he said go for it, youve tried other therapists before and left them for various reasons im not sure thats the answer he says.
im at a loss and frustrated. ive never accused a therapist of sleeping before. and ive never assumed someone was asleep when they werent.
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