Triggering.... you may not want to read.. it is about my own abusive ex-husband














I don't know if this will help.. but in the hope that it will.. I share this..

I was married for 12 years, when I was 19.. he is 5 years older.

My ex-husband.. not once.. during that 12 years ever said he was "sorry".. or "made up" for what he did... not once..

My body would heal.... but the verbal abuse.. still 23 years later "roams" in my head...

I sought.. and sought answers like you are doing. During the day I was a respected, trusted, well liked professional.. given 3 promotions in 5 years.. at night.. I was called every name in the book.. I was told everything that I did at home was wrong..I was slapped.. kicked.. choked.. locked out of my home in the winter with no coat...so many things..

I can remember.. one time I said to him "I think"... and he said to me " who said you could think.. did I tell you .. you could think"..... shocked me.. I was paid a goodly sum of money for my opinion every working day..
In my home.. I could not even have an opinion...

The answer is that my husband had/has severe.. severe problems.. for anyone to tell someone else that everything they do is wrong ... is a ways and and a means of control..

yes, control... and it works.. this makes you doubt yourself.. robs your self confidence.. until.. perhaps like me.. I felt.. that there was not enough substance to me... to even be able to "cast a shadow on a wall"... there was nothing left of me..

To get my understanding, after my divorce..I contacted the police.. and I went to a men's abuser group.. these were court order men that had to attend this group couseling sessions.. in order to not go to jail.
I got my opportunity.. I asked questions.. and I looked at these men.. and I was amazed.

They.. simply.. wanted.. what they wanted.. at all costs.. and abusing their wives.. got them what they wanted.. They could not identify with their wives pain.. they didn't see it.. they didn't feel it.. nothing..

I have no idea what your husband is.. or is not..

I don't know... what your situation... I shared my own.. so that at least you know you are not alone.