In spite of all this, your fiancé still picked you. Still chooses you. Still wants you.

I actually feel more alone when I have people in my life. So I empathize with what you're saying. I don't have the weight of feeling responsible or guilty when I'm alone.

I've been divorced and I've gotten remarried. The guilt isn't as bad now, but then again my new partner doesn't believe in mental illnesses. It's a double edged sword. Now I don't have anyone to talk to about my depression because I've spent so many years trying to be alone. Convinced I was a burden. So while they're still in my life, they are only in the normal part. The happy part. They don't acknowledge the bad stuff.