Jeez, SC, this is a tough one.

The first thing that comes to my mind is: Consider the source/s.

Here's a guy who sweet-talks you, goes out and proposes to someone, doesn't give you a heads-up about it but reports it post facto -- and blames YOU for being EMOTIONALLY DISTANT! Seems obvious that it's his emotional behavior that needs introspection.

Second, I've heard the "you're emotionally distant" thing a lot throughout my life. It's hard. My stomach churns. I feel so inadequate. As if something important is missing from my emotional-psychological make-up.

Yet I have friendships that have lasted 20-30 years. One of my oldest friends said: People don't have a neutral reaction to you. They either love you or hate you. You have a strong personality.

I have tried to learn "affective listening" behaviors so that my students would find me less intimidating. This includes: smiling, leaning in toward the person, not interrupting, making a lot of eye contact. I think these things have helped.

I don't think anyone will ever confuse me a gregarious Miss America, Cheerleader type personality.

You are young yet, SC, and there is plenty of time to find the man who is perfect for you. Doesn't seem that way right now, I know. I was so desperate to be in a relationship when I was young, and now that I genuinely don't have a lot of years left, it's a whole lot less important. That's something to be said for waning hormones, at least.

I think he behaved like a jerk, and if you don't feel like being friends, you don't have to be.

And if you change your mind 5 or 10 or 30 years from now, that's all right, too.