Here is the situation, its beginning to become life threatening after 9 months. I'm very depressed and don't know what to do.

About me= I'm 30+, a "weirdo", a loner, I don't easily connect to people, but when I do, its quite serious. The society sees me as a weirdo and I see most members of the society also as "weird". Basically I have little interest in most people due to different reasons such as finding them boring and not challenging.

Late April 2016 I met a girl online and the chemistry was instantaneous and the strongest I have ever encountered. The girl appeared to be highly intelligent (likes chess, works as a programmer, IQ is above 165). Her intelligence and her very fragile, feminine nature quickly made its way into my psyche.

The girl quickly offered to meet "for sex" (she is a nympho) but I was ill and couldn't meet her, bad luck I guess. A month later we became so addicted to each other that the girl began to show signs of being scared citing issues such as paranoia, basically she put me in the friendzone.

We have talked for 9 months now and the chemistry is somewhat weaker but its still very addictive to talk to her, basically my day begins and ends with her. I have tried to run from this very unhealthy online addiction a dozen or so times but I keep coming back to her.

Why do I come back? nobody talks or texts like her, her language is so complicated and unique that she is irresistible. Or appears to be so.

The girl has control over our online relation and does what she wants and says what she wants, she is not ready to meet me due to various reasons of course, so I'm her online ****** of some kind.

If I stop talking to her (remove her from the chat program) I become VERY depressed and 1-2-3-4 days later I can not control the urge to add her back, she gladly accepts the invitation and the chat begins again.

Sometimes she implies that meeting her is possible, using various ways but then backs off (classic friendzone, show the carrot to make me interested and then stop showing it, leaving me frustrated).

I can not get her and never will, yet connecting to anyone else is not easy for me, nearly impossible unless on a shallow level.

The thing is: I'm very depressed, every day more and more (she senses it and feeds of it I assume) and its getting worse.

How can I get rid off it?

The girl is a nympho and has sex with a bunch of different men, always looking for more, its very shallow, physical sex. She has dozens of online guys like me who feed her narcissism and ego, while in reality having sex with mostly married men who do not provide her the emotional leverage she craves.

Some of the things she likes to tell me and presumably other online "pursuers" as she calls us:

- I sit on a high tower and look at you with mixed feelings
- I have just had great sex with a great lover (but you cant have me RIGHT NOW, maybe later)
- Women like me choose wisely
- you dont know anything about my life
- you dont know what I think
- I like you (right)
- here is a picture of me, tell me what you think (she has shown me 100's of pictures, and always expects compliments and more...)

she loves to discuss herself, but not others, when the conversation changes the subject from how amazing she is, she can become arrogant and say "what you write is drivel".

I realize its very weak of me to stay tuned into her but I cant walk away, or so it seems.

Any tips?