So I've had four dxes Bipolar1, Bipolar2, Depression, Bipolar1, now I told my latest pdoc my t of 3 months said she doesn't see bipolar! He says he doesn't do dxes, he just treats symptoms with meds. Whatever, I don't care, don't know what I am, hes trying to get me on that vraylar ***** ,tapering me off seroquel, and topamax, am on effexor and zanax and vistoryl. She says Im not BPD, that its just my Dad's narcissistic love hate relationship with me and my consequential patterened relationships. My pdoc told me to pour the effexor capsule into a plate and only take 3/4 as I'm getting too revved up. My poor bf is taking care of his dependent elderly mother. We are drinking tequila and watching orange is the new black again. He is fresh out of prison. I quit AA. I am triggered to drink. Everything is out of control. I did create a care package for my child who got deployed to so. pacific. I did facilitate the NAMI mtg last night. I am a screw up. I love u all. Sorry