hi trace
i was 16 and half years old and i was the one who found her dead after that my anxiety got worse.

my dad brainwashed us into thinking it was all her fault. their marriage was an arranged one, they only saw a pic of each other, and from day one she was never happy. it wasn't until after she died, and he tried to exert that same control and put us down, that i realized that maybe there was not some truth to what he had told us.

i was wracked with so much guilt for years. but in all honestly i think God took her as soon as he did because her life on earth was pure hell. i just wish she had a chance to see her 9 grandchildren between us 3 siblings and how we turned out, considering the environment we grew up.

((hugs)) to you, i am sure its not easy, but we all can heal from the past, i think sometimes the hard times we go in our childhood, makes some of us stronger once become adults. we all can learn from our pasts, and if we are blessed like i have been, we don't make the same mistakes with our own kids.

take care