I'm in a bad struggle also. Vicious cycle.

Do I have fabulous advice ? Probably not.... But I think everyone wants to help but just doesn't know what to say.

Do you have anyone you can talk to face to face or if that's impossible talk to a help line on the phone?

I do help you keep posting here ,sometimes it's a good place to vent , I just needed to a few days ago. Did it fix my problems ? Nope , but I don't feel alone.