okay heres more of an update, and i plan to use this as a forum because i need help and i feel that talking on psychcentral helps much!

anyways, i guess i saw a friend who ive been friends with for awhile, and instantly i started feeling a strange, disturbing nervous feeling like wow he looks good like it was weird like a crush, well im living with him and my friend next semester at college and now im freaked as hell about that. then ill have sexual feelings about a woman and i think im fine then it disgusts me, i got close to a woman im hard yet i feel disgusted at times. sometimes it feels great. sometimes i just want to have sex. sometimes i dont. sometimes i masterbate a lot and its always to straight pornography. tonight i was with a woman and thought she was too little then i think about a man sometimes it intrigues me but sometimes i doubt myself ever doing that in real life because i think id find it gross to like perform oral sex or something and then sometimes ithink of a woman and sex and it seems great then sometimes it really doesnt and i just wonder what am i?! I was straight my ENTIRE life before the last couple of months what is going on with me? Who am I? Am i gay? bisexual? Straight, I DONT WANT TO BE GAY Like i want a wife and children and i want that lifestyle and i dont want any of that. someone help! No offense to those who are gay/lesbian/bi i just dont want that for myself but have no problem . like i do like boxing and stuff and suddenly i feel like vaguely attracted to certain guys when i watch boxing on tv and it freaks me out like none other.

what is going on wit hme, do i just need a break, i do watch porn everytime i masterbate sometimes as much as 4 times a day so i dunno if that has anything to do with it. i just need to vent and need help becasue its consuming my life and i dont even want to get out of bed in the morning some days and i feel likle all i want to do is sleep. thanks to anyone who listens and writes back i just feel like a freak and wonder why like i was iwth a girl and i dunno if i liked it but then was it just because i just had been masterbating a lot and stuff and just my body needs a break and was realy sweet and i really like like but then do i like her? how do i know? how does anyone know like i think i do? i have NO IDEA but i need help!