i am sorry to bother everyone again. i still feel awful and the thoughts are getting worse i was going to try and call a hotline but i chickened out cause i got scared i would end up at the hospital again and i dont want to go back there at all. i am really anxious as well and i feel like i am sinking back down into the deep dark hole again. i dont know what to do i feel like everything is hopeless and like i should just give up i really cant take this.