Be grateful for the things you do have. Thank goodness that you are able to live with your parents; many people are not so fortunate. While you're there, do what you MUST. PREPARE. Save as much money as you can. No. You aren't a loser. It took a lot of courage to post this and you should be thankful. Thankful for the internet connection it took to even be online. So again, give thanks to God...the universe or whatever you consider your source of inspiration and continue to prepare yourself. Enjoy your youth my dear. Time flies. When you feel discouraged, come back on here and ask for advice, talk to that tiny voice inside your head. I applaud you for being honest with yourself. Keep pushing yourself. You'll get there.