I have a question, a couple really. Let me start with a little back history. My husband and I met and our first date I knew this was the man God had made for me. He was honest and kind, very thoughtful and was always eager to show me just how much he loved me. On New Years eve at 12:28pm He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes! I had prayed long and hard and knew I had found my husband, We waited until around July to start marriage counseling which just happened to be about the time both our leases came up for renewal on our apartments. So we talked it over with our pastor and decided to go ahead and move in together. We DID however refrain from having intercourse to keep our relationship pure. Now My husband and I have been married since October 16,2016 So a whole 3 months but we dated and were engaged for around 1 and a half years. I have three kids form a previous marriage. And I feel I must point out that husband is a wonderful father to the kids, But I feel he is a terrible husband to me. So a two weeks before our wedding his brothers decided it would be good to give him a bachelor party (He has also been married before) He got a beautiful wedding for his first time around and a bachelor party then as well) I had a shot gun court house wedding for mine. Any way his brothers take him all over town drinking and I mean drinking then to different strip clubs where my husbands ends up well lets just say he wasn't faithful to me that night. I knew right away when they came stumbling in at 4am Bars close at 2 here. I lost it and woken them up and kicked them out after a few house to going threw it in my head and once one of my child hood friends saw them doing it. I was so hurt he gave something that we both sacrificed greatly for away The next day he has his mom bring him back home and I am still understandably upset. His mom I'm sure doesn't know what he has done as she comes into my room and laughs at me telling me I am over reacting. I yelled at her and kicked her out. and cried harder. Our pastor comes over and helps my soon to be husband and I talk things over. And we start feeling better. Then that evening my husband tells me that he really needs me to apologies to his mother for kicking her out of my house earlier that day. Once again I was devastated and felt very hurt. Then he brings his whole family over both mom's and dad's to sit down in my house to confront me about everything that worried them about the two of us getting married. My husband lied to me and told me our pastor was going to be there but he was never invited. Then he assured me that he would have my back that I was the most important thing to him ever. Well lets just say that didn't happen but seeing as I am a grown woman I held my own. At the end His mom suggest that we put off the wedding which at this point was 1 day away. Now we had talked about doing that but He and I decide not to. His mistake wasn't going to stop what God had started, then to my surprise my now husband quickly agreed with his mother. Once His mom's words controlled him, but as soon as they left to drive back home he changed his mind.The next day I over heard him talk bad about me but couldn't quit make out what he was saying. So the day of our wedding came his whole family showed up really late and not once said one word to me. Before all this we going along great and I couldn't wait to be apart of the family. Since our wedding my husband and I have made love only a few times. I came to find out last week that he is addicted to porn and has been for years. He has also been talking to other women on the internet and has completely shut me out of his life. He has also been telling his family parents lies about me. I just found all this out about a week ago. I started snooping threw his stuff when I couldn't take the lack of contact any longer. He has been lying to me for months. He is also very selfish He has to have the newest IPhone and best of everything while I have a 5 year old android. He drives our new Dodge to work everyday while I drive myself and the kids to school and work in a breaking down at any time small white car. He says he has to have the new car because he going to work at 3. You know what I love his so what ever he wants. I do make quite a bit more than he does but it's him and the kids first. When I confronted him with all this the lied until I pulled out all of my evidence then the truth started coming out. I was much calmer that I was before. But I can't seem to stop crying now. I haven't been able to eat at all in over a week now and I am not getting more than a couple of hours a night if that. I don't have anyone to talk to about all of this. We agreed in pre-material counseling that going to parents with fights wasn't a good idea it always hurts the relationships between everyone. We once again call on our pastor who comes over the next day while I'm at work. My husband tells him I assume to be the truth because my pastor calls me and tells me how much of a addiction this is and it needs to be treated as such. My husband agrees and quickly hands me over his laptop and phone along with his iPad. We and by we I mean I have set up all the counseling appointments for both him and I. And we agreed to do daily devotionals and a sex challenge together to try and rebuild our marriage. Day one was wonderful!! Now day three Wait he stopped at day one. He keeps saying "tomorrow we will start this I promise" Over the last week I have found I kid not 25 to 30 emails with around 15 to 20 dating profiles and different identities attached to each. He has also taken back his IPhone and has set very strict passwords on everything but insists it isn't him. I'll delete an account it magically comes back and he gets mad when I confront him about it. From the very beginning we both agreed Divorce is not an option at all no matter what. I have kept every promise and vow I have ever made to him and despite all this I love him so much. and the kids love him. But honestly I am at my breaking point and don't know what to do. He says he loves me so much and wants to be the man I deserve but won't put forward any effort into anything I ask of him. He reminds me that he is sick and we just need to do this together, but we aren't I'm doing it alone. I feel so sad and hurt and just I don't know how to explain it. my soul latterly hurts and my mental state isn't doing very well. since I am the one cleaning all this up I have seen emails, and saved video chats, and text messages between the complete lack of respect and betrayal the adultery and the talking crap about me I am just at a loss. I could go on and tell you how he left me completely alone on our first Christmas together not one kiss, or pat on the head, hand hold nothing, although I told him for weeks in advance now nervous I was because we were at his family's. and they don't make me feel very welcome anymore. He said once again he is sorry and that he will get the help and he will do his best to do better. But with every opportunity even very small ones like reading a 2 paragraph scripture, he doesn't even try, He has not kept one promise to me since we got married. Worked my butt off trying to be a better wife and let God's grace and love come threw me. But with each passing day and every broken promise and a few more websites and Webcast to try and removed, I feel like I have lost my self, I have become obsessed with finding everything ever single message. He is a wonderful Man with out this Porn addiction but with it he isn't my Husband and I want my husband back. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Anything even if it is just to pray.