I think I'm finally coming to the point where I have to accept that this is just the way things are and that I am doing the best I can to handle them. My t, my pdoc and my mom have all made comments that there is obviously something in me that has some glimmer of hope, otherwise I probably wouldn't be seeking the help to begin with. I've gone down this path before though and I just hope that this time I can stick with it and not give up so easily.