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As I was reading your post, I too was wondering if the shower was a trigger.
If it was me, I would ask inside like Luce suggested. Unedited journaling is where I would go with it and see what comes forward.
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"What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning
"Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning
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