Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2
Taking showers freaks me out. We shower 2x's a day, a good long one after work to get the funk off and a quick fresher in the morning.
It seems like stepping into the shower enters us into another dimension where mind and body seperates. I get all dazy and floaty losing focus with everyone thinking at once while the body washes it's self like in automatic. Once we step out, I can't remember taking one even though I'm dripping wet naked. Sometimes I climb back into the shower terribly annoyed and mad which gives me an edge to stay present.
Everyday every morning this happens. It makes me feel like there is something more then mindlessly showering because at times I try to force myself to stay in the present, but it's a struggle to in which I usually end up succumbing to the daze.
I do love the clean fresh feeling after a shower....it's just the loss of mental awareness and time that bothers me. Maybe its the menial routine of washing that gets cued out?
Clean and confused.  |
It's odd I ran across this post just now. I was talking earlier about how I stay in such a dissociative funk that I can't remember if I took a shower or not. There may be days where I don't shower or change clothes. I know it sounds horrible and I hate admitting to this. But I don't go anywhere for days so maybe that's the problem. If I have an appointment or somewhere else I need to be outside the house I will take a shower. But when I get in there I feel that daze of being in there. I may shave one leg and not the other. Or not shave my underarms or legs, and realize this once I get out. Then I have to get back in to take care of these things. It's frustrating for sure. I fell like if I get the cats fed, litterbox scooped and maybe one or two small things done my day is successful. This is not how I used to be though. I used to be busy getting things done as soon as my feet hit the floor and until I went to bed. *sigh* It's a blessing and a curse. I always feel better after a shower, but I keep telling myself I will do it later.....then it doesn't get done.