The past two days have been a new experience in hell. I've slept 4 hours in two days, eaten only once, and I don't think I really care. I sometimes wonder if it's possible to pass away from being so lonely and depressed.

I have lost everything that I have fought for; Almost 7 years and still nothing from my daughter, can't work anymore, never been loved, used repeatedly because people see how badly I want to be accepted for me, my brothers are selfish buttholes, I could go on but what's the point.

I don't know what else to do anymore. I try but can't smile, I find no joy in anything because everything I enjoyed is gone. I keep my feelings buried so they don't destroy anyone but me, so I know I don't push people away. I wish I looked as good as my nature, because I'm tired of being called ugly, unattractive, worthless cripple, I mean what's the big deal, I walk with a cane....so what.
I am old school as hell and the old ways of having values like respect, honesty, chivalry, and faithfulness don't seem to matter anymore. 😢