I HATE BEING DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME! I hate the side effects of all my meds. I take medicine to make me not so screwed up, and they make me sick. Not to mention, the flu is going around and I can't have a flu shot. Not there would be one available, but the flu shot makes me deathly ill. I get to go through flu season with nothing....I am so tired of getting sick every time somebody else sneezes.

My anti-d's also make me sick. If I don't take the loads of meds that I take, than I end up in the hospital. If I do, well as near as I can tell, I get like a build up in my system, that causes me to feel really ill, and sleep like there is no tomorrow. It gets so bad, I don't have enough energy to even pick my head up off the pillow. I hate it!
The one thing that I can honestly be proud of doing, and doing well, is working. Every Job I have ever had, I have been really good at. Even when I would cry on my way to my car after work because of my depressed state, I have been able to hold it together to do my job. This feeling crappy, health wise, is now effecting my job. When I return to work, I expect to be written up for being absent so much. This is something I have never had to deal with, and it is sending me down that all to familular path. Do you all realize that Wal-mart holds it against their associates for being in the hospital for any reason. Sure, if you are in the hospital for any length of time, they count it as one absence, but when you are dealing with multiple hospitalizations, well you figure it out. I am pretty sure that down the road, I will be fired for being in the hospital, and that alone, will put be in the hospital....I CAN'T WIN!!!!!!!!!!!.
I am sorry for this self pitty post, but I am slipping, and I just don't know how to hang on any more.

bren <font color="brown"> </font>