First of all I believe that all patients/clients elicit feelings from their therapists. If the therapy modality is some skill-based behavioural therapy then I guess these can go unnoticed by the therapist because they are not relevant, unless something very unusual happens. In therapies that work with transference, both transference and countertransference are important tools.

My understanding is that therapist feelings for the patient can go both under transference (projective identification) or countertransference (therapist own stuff). For instance, my T once told me when I asked how he perceived the first year of our work that initially there was a very strong ET. I was like "what do you mean?" because I had had zero sexual feelings for him. He explained that I had "put" those feelings on him, so that he felt them for me. I asked why does he call it transference when those feelings actually originated from him, that shouldn't it be countertransference. But he was convinced that it wasn't something that originated from him but rather that I somehow subconsciously seduced him very strongly.

Now, many of you might think that what a convenient explanation - put all the "blame" on the patient. But I must say that I think he had a point. First of all, I know I used to be very seductive in a strange way - by being mysteriously cold and withdrawing. It was not my conscious plan but that's the way it was and a certain type of men fell very easily to that. My H has explained me that he did too, that it created a sort of tension or fantasy that there is something very mysterious and interesting hidden in me. Not that it wouldn't be true but in reality, I was just a very schizoid and withdrawing, which I somehow subconsciously masked with seductiveness.

The second thing I should say that I only learned about my T's feelings when they more or less no longer existed. If I hadn't asked this question and he hadn't answered then it would have never occurred to me that anything like that happened. Whatever he was feeling in himself he dealt with it on his own without burdening me. When we had this discussion then I was a bit worried that he still might have those feelings but he told me that no, that now he mostly sees the very childish parts in me, which obviously stir a different set of feelings in him.

There have been moments when he clearly has had countertransference feelings. For instance, he has got angry to some people I've told him about and I have felt that this anger is foreign to me - that it's not mine. I mean, sometimes he has gotten angry to me but in those situations I have quite clearly put my anger on him because it is very difficult for me to feel it. In those cases I have felt his anger as something familiar. Anyway, in those first cases he has admitted that probably this anger is his countertransference feelings and not coming from me.

So, my understanding is that as long as therapists are human they have feelings in response to their patients. Those feelings can fall in the realm of transference or countertransference. I don't think there is any way to avoid them, nor should it be necessary. The most crucial thing is, is the therapist aware of what is going in himself and how does he manage those feelings, regardless of whether they arise from transference or countertransference.