I have no friends. Local, out of state or even out of country.

On Christmas eve I came a hair's breadth of telling my brother to esad and to never contact me again. That he was dead to me, for the idiot thing he had the balls to say on the phone to me. No, losing the front end out of your Polaris Ranger plowing the road so you can get out isn't NEAR the same as me losing my car. It wasn't my idea for you to live off the grid, it was yours'.

Everyone else I knew from my past I've lost contact with. I've tried finding them, can't. They aren't listed in any phone book.

The ONLY person (other than my therapist) that I talk to is my mom. Well, I can't get to deep with her. She's pushing 80. And all it would do is worry her to death. Besides, there's nothing she can do, she lives almost 400 miles away. So when I talk to her, I try my best to maintain a decent face. Yes, everything is fine attitude. Even when I'm at rock bottom.

When I found a high school/college buddy on Facebook, I jumped for joy. Friended him. When I let him know where my mom retired to, he asked for her phone # and addy, said he drove through there all the time. Said he'd love to stop and see her. I told him to email me. Never heard back.

Then I had a big meltdown and dumped my Facebook. Well, he could still reach me even if he lost me email addy. My brother is on Facebook. He could friend my brother. My brother knows who he is and would accept his friend request. Nope, I guess he blew me off. Oh well... story of my life.

The Facebook story isn't recent. It happened about 4yrs ago.