I fear that I have avoidant personality disorder. I rarely leave my apartment. I recently lost my job. This weekend, I have not left the building. The only time I left my apartment was to pick up my mail.

As a child, I was not allowed to have playmates because my mom wanted to control me. All my life I've been lonely and have not found acceptance. Part of it is that I'm gay. However, I've only found abuse in the gay community. Therapy has only driven me deeper into isolation. I don't understand why people in the gay community prefer to sleep around rather than have platonic friendships.

I need to do some job hunting but even have avoided that. I don't know how to break this pattern of avoidance.