Even though I didn't know I was bipolar at the time, my heavy drinking was, as I described it, to keep myself in one state of mind. I was aware enough to know that at times I had too much energy, and other times was very sad. I didn't think it was anything too serious though.

I hated both of those circumstances, so I drank to numb myself. That's when it got too far for me, when I was using alcohol to avoid dealing with that stress.