I know what you mean. My best friend had an eating disorder but she got better. I'm still sick and i dont know how to tell her than i'm really bad. I dont want to let her down. I'm trying but it's hard. Today i went to the rec and ate a healthy breakfast but by lunch i couldn't tell if i was hungry or not to i decided to eat because i thought i was but to throw up becuase i didn't think i was. That makes no sense but sometimes i dont even make sense to myself. I hate living like this. Logic gets lost and the pessimistic little voice in my head takes over.