I had an appt with my therapist this morning which was really challenging. I can't bring myself to go to work so I am sitting in the parking lot at Starbucks. I wrote this in my little notebook this morning:

I am beginning to understand why people say "I wouldn't wish bipolar disorder on my worst enemy". I thought they were referring to the debilitating lows and destructive highs. But i think in a way it's because it colors, it affects everything we think and do. We have to be constantly on guard. We always have to ask ourselves, "is this me, or is this the disorder?" We lose a piece of ourselves when we are constantly questioning what is real.

Does anyone else feel this way?