It's a tough one, when you join the forces you are actually warned that the likelihood is your personal relationships and marriages will fail. I wonder if this doesn't provide a fatalistic outset.
The only in forces relationship s I know that succeed are those who have a heavy dependency on others in your situation. It used to be that wives and families made a point of bonding. Ensuring some kind of get together on holidays or a birthday. But with partner now working just as many hours it's become a thing of the past.
It's hard when you respect what they do such, but not who it makes them at home.
You know it's what they do to cope, and being shut out is the hardest thing of all. World's become so far apart you wonder if it is possible to get back.
The answer, not alone, no. You both need to work towards each other.
I Might ask if he could even just manage to spend an hour in bed together, just for cuddles. That's is something that doesn't require to much effort on his part.
If he can't, that might be the answer to your question.

I am sorry to hear the struggle of another forces relationship, most of them are good couples with insurmountable barriers in their lives. It's a terrible shame.

Best of luck. Take care.