Hi Sickofshadows

I am sorry you are stuck in such a situation where you can't see any light to warm you. I have been in similar situations. When I was a teenager and I decided to stop trying to play roulette with pills. No one cared and I just felt stupid. There were two years where I put one foot in front of the other in a grey world. It was easier to not be playing with the decision on whether to try or give up - that removed the tension. Thirty five years later, six of them living in the same house as my husband trying to believe him that he hadn't kept his mistress and then he left. I have found a way to play like a child again and have moments of joy. Recently, I gave myself a week off life. I carried on doing all the chores but I stepped back from anything bothering me.