I don't get why you are assuming that all this unhappiness is due to your husband being a cop. Most of the deficiencies you describe in him don't seem to automatically go with being a cop. I don't see where this is a typical "cop" marriage. Your husband doesn't sound like a good partner. If he were selling insurance, I don't think he would be much better. It's just not in him.

Someone close to me is married to a cop. There are specific strains that puts on a marriage. I don't hear you describing those job-specific strains. I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think your husband is "in love" with you, and that is a lonely place for you to be in.

Blaming everything on his being a cop seems to me as a way for you to avoid really pondering what exactly is going on. The two of you going for couple's counselling seems to be jumping past the real problem. I'ld recommend you getting counselling as an individual. The real question is, "Why am I walking into marriages that turn out to not be partnerships that I really want to be in?"

Part of the answer is financial. Have you ever lived alone and successfully supported yourself? Are you jumping into marriages because you feel you have to have a husband to financially support you?

Do you have children? If not, then there is no reason in the world why you have to stay married to survive. Do you believe that you are incapable of making it on your own because you are depressed? You mention having a job and working as many hours as your husband. Okay, so maybe you couldn't make the mortgage payments on just your salary. Then you get yourself an apartment.

Maybe your husband feels he's basically a paycheck to you. Then, again, he doesn't seem to have much else to offer. You mentioned that, married to him, you have "more financial stability." Why were you in such financial instability before you married him?

When the two of you were just dating, what did you each see in the other that made the two of you say, 'I want to spend my life with this person." ??? It does not sound like either one of you is in love.

This not a case of: you are just not meant to be a cop's wife. This is way, way deeper and larger than that.