So... I am a Christian. I have been masturbating since before I knew what it was. Back when I was only 12 I would stick tiny toys up my vagina and play around until I got the "sex fluid." Then I would walk around with toilet paper up there because I did not know what was happening, and I did not want wet underwear. I don't remember how I got started on this.
Sometime soon after, like within the year- I do not really remember, I started something else crazy. I wanted to see where my shower faucet would like tickle me most- it ended up being my vagina. So quickly I started masturbating there, practically every time I took a shower. I knew I probably shouldn't and was able to hold myself off many times, but I could just never quit the habit.
Then a friend and I were talking like a year and a half ago- she had been with MANY partners- and she was talking about masturbating. I told her what I did in the shower and she said it was a form of masturbating. That is when I first realized what I was truly doing.
She taught me how to masturbate without anything, and so since then, whenever I get really aroused- like once or twice a month- I go and masturbate. However, after every time I do it I feel guilty (remember, I am a Christian).
And I also do not like the whole masturating thing because like when certain things happen or like I see a certain scene in a movie, I want to masturbate, but being with certain people or having it be that time of the month, thankfully prevent me from it. I just hate that the idea os sexuality and masturbation pop into my head so easily.
They are not something I want in my life right now, and (for those Christians out there) isn't sexuality to be saved for after marriage and just with your husband, not just to FOOL around????


I mean, get me if I am wrong, but I just do not feel like a very good Christian, with pure thoughts.