Dear Argonautomobile,

I'm sorry it took me seven weeks to get back to you. You see, when I got your voicemail, I wrote it down on a sticky note. Which I then lost in my desk. I found the note seven weeks later. I considered just pretending I never got your voicemail and never calling you back, ever--because, really, how embarrassing and unprofessional is it to not call someone back for nearly two months--but then I looked up your name in my notes, figured out who you were, and remembered what a push-over you are.

And, whew, thank God for that.

Anyway, sorry it took me so long to call back. And that I don't have an opening for another month. It's not because I don't like you. How could I not like you--you keep coming back even after my numerous ****-ups, and that makes me think I must be doing something right.

So, I'll see you in a month. Please be chatty and cheerful (hypomanic) and not talk about anything difficult. And don't worry--I've written down that really important thing about...um--hang on--let me look for it...

Ah, ****, where did I put that?