You need to give yourself more credit to be capable of reaching your own conclusions. Don't let me, or your husband or any counselor dictate to you what's what.

Do you really believe that all marriages to police officers are just like yours? Do you not suspect that your husband has found an all-purpose excuse to explain away every and any thing? Is there some law that says you have to believe that? And you're claiming that multiple counselors have told you to accept lousy behavior from your husband because he is a cop? Are these counselors employed by the police department? Lots of counselors have bad marriages themselves, so don't assume that any counselor knows more than you know.

You became "his property." Who told you that?

You may be listening to way too many people, when the only opinion that ultimately counts is your own. Some of the best and nicest women end up in the worst marriages. Look at poor Debbie Reynolds, who said in a televised interview that she had no ability to pick out a decent husband. It wasn't that she didn't deserve to be well-loved.

When you were dating, you saw your husband at his best, "refreshed and recovered." So maybe you got "took in." It can happen to the very nicest of women, or men.

It's not me who's accusing you of "picking the wrong partners." You are telling us that your first marriage was unsatisfying and that your second marriage is proving even worse. You told us that your husband hurts you every day by not loving you. You said he doesn't even compare favorably with your first husband. All I know is what you're sharing.

Of course you never said, "Well I think I'll marry a man who'll be miserable to me." This is not what you expected. I think you got took in. Maybe you trust very readily. Maybe that hasn't served you well. Maybe you need to get a little more cynical. If this husband of yours is really anything like you are describing - and I believe you that he is - I sure wouldn't want to be living with him . . . being hurt every day by being unloved. And I wouldn't care if an army of angels came down with a message from God above telling me that this is what I should settle for. Maybe I'ld stay, or maybe I'ld leave, but it would be based on "What do I want to do?"

I just googled "cops and divorce" and found an article that contradicts what I thought was true. I thought divorce rates were high for cops. I've even heard that domestic violence was high in cop families. Here's what I found:

https://www.thebalance.com/what-is-t...fficers-974539

Do some googling, yourself, and get some informed input. Compare what you read to your own situation.

If you are telling yourself - as you've told us - that you can find no way out of being absolutely miserable, then that is your depression talking. That is classic depressed thinking: "I'm miserable and there is no hope for relief." I'm a chronic depressive. I know how the thinking goes.

I'm not blaming you for maybe having made a mistake. I've made more than my share. Maybe this marriage is salvagable, or maybe not. I'm asking you to empower yourself. You decide whether your husband is being fair to you. You decide whether being a cop makes him act the way he does at home. Screw the counselors. You decide. Maybe he can't help being as he is, and maybe it's due to his profession . . . or maybe it's due to other reasons. Maybe he can change. Maybe he needs an incentive to change. Maybe he needs to be shown that this marriage won't survive, unless he does change. Maybe he needs you more than you realize. (I doubt a bunch of women will be lining up to take your place.) Maybe you have more leverage than you appreciate.

But, if you go around with the attitude that you are stuck in a miserable situation and are incapable of doing anything about it, then you are conveying permission to him to crap all over you. I would start tearing that house apart with my bare hands before I would submit to that. He threatens to commit you for being crazy? I'ld say, "Buster, you ain't seen crazy yet, but I'm about to show you."

It's very hard to get people "committed" for any length of time. (It's very hard to get into psych hospitals these days, even for people who want to get in.) It's up to a judge. Judges know that cops, like everyone else, have marital problems.

You are not your husband's property. No sane person ever told you that. It sounds like you are giving yourself some very bad advice.

If mainly you just want to vent about how unhappy you are, that's okay. I'll be glad to listen. Maybe, right now, that's all you're up for. You can move ahead at your own pace, in whatever direction you choose. And you can choose not to move at all. I'm genuinely sorry you're so very unhappy. And it sure doesn't sound like you are being very well treated at all.