I know I'm no good. I know it and I'm not writing this for a pity-me party; I'm not looking for attention here. I'm writing what I know is true. I'm a piece of ****. I'm selfish, I'm arrogant, I'm spoiled, I'm a cry-baby who can't get over simple **** and I'm just plain stupid. Not ignorant but stupid, because I obviously can't ****ing learn. I'll never learn. I'm paralyzed in this state of being a worthless piece of crap that deserves every damn thing that's happened to me. I always did.

If I was ever such a good person, then why the hell does everybody keep leaving? They leave or they die. No one stays and the ones that do, they're seeing something in me that's obviously not there. They're delusional to think I'll ever be anything different. I'm not, I'm nothing. I can't hold a job, I can barely get out of the house, I can barely clean the house I reside in, I can't contribute a single thing and I'm ultimately a waste of space. This is who I am. They were right, all of them. I'm no good. No matter how hard I try, I'm still no good.

My own sister, rather shoot up than be near me. My own mom left me several times and almost killed herself to get away from me. My best friend, ditched out the moment she knew I wasn't worth ****. My own father didn't give a **** whether I lived or died and gambled my life time and again.

How can all of these people be wrong along with my other sister and my teachers? How could they all be so wrong?

They aren't. I'm just delusional for ever believing they were.