This thread has raised my consciousness about some things. I've re-read the posts above carefully and I've googled the topic of abuse in police marriages. I now commend those posters above who have expressed concern for your safety. I can be a little slow on the uptake, sometimes.

Reviewing this thread, I now think you are in a situation of abuse. This puts a different light on you feeling like "his property." He sounds intimidating. Coming from a cop just enhances the intimidation factor. Here's another article that has enlightened me a bit:

Police Have a Much Bigger Domestic-Abuse Problem Than the NFL Does - The Atlantic

I would strongly urge you to connect with support for women in domestic abuse situations. Do it discreetly. I did this once myself and they can be very helpful. (It doesn't matter that there are no black-and-blue marks. There weren't in my case, either.) One of the things I learned from them is that counselors who don't specialize in domestic abuse often have no friggin clue what is going on and can even give very counterproductive advice.

If you're in a rural area, it may be difficult for you to find good resources nearby. But make some calls. People involved in supporting woman who are intimidated by their partners are very discreet. Reach out. I find some of his remarks quite horrifying. Be aware that, when he chose you, he probably chose carefully.