The scary part is that I will lose one of the people I care about because he has so much wrong with him. He is my rock and is the only person that really keeps me sane even if he is the cause of so much of my emotional pain. Well not so much any more but in the past he was a terror but he was also amazing.

I'm worried that when he goes I'll lose it. I lost it twice before over the passing of people that were special to me and they weren't a candle compared to him.

The others I care for I also care very deeply for but I don't think anything is going to happen to them any time soon. So I'm less afraid of losing them. But they don't hold me together as much. One helps me stay sane as much as she can but its hard when she has so many of her own MI.

I guess I'm just overwhelmed.