It's late and I've got a lot going through my mind. My appointment with my counselor was tonight and we talked about "the analytical" part of me. It's a strong one, looking for answers.

I dove off in my journal and wrote a letter to it. It came to me that it might encourage someone else, so we decided to share it.

I hope this is the right place to do that.

*** IT IS MOST PROBABLY TRIGGERING ***

Dear Analytical one,

The triggers happen, they connect with fragments sometimes, other times it's just a frozen void of me silently shaking my head "no."

Such heavy denial of what doesn't want to be seen or acknowledged.

It keeps pushing with such persistence. I pray for Grace and mercy for my soul and my "being."

The realness is too much to look into the face of.

It will not go away, and cannot be denied or ignored.

The intensity is only building to validate what is truth, but hidden behind the fear of really knowing.

I pray again for Grace and mercy. Please I pray, hold me and rock me into the knowledge of truth.

Compassion and tenderness is longed for in this trial of trusting what is known, but not by me.

Please, I pray, caress it into my inner thoughts and grow it from there. Seeds of truth grow at their own pace - sure and true, with strength and safety.

Please, I pray, do not blindside me with the vivid reality of truth. It will surely shatter all that I am or have sheltered myself from.

In reality, I have already been shattered. Then. Grace and mercy, I pray, as the pieces come to me now.

Too much at one time is too much to take in safely. Please, I pray, just a piece at a time.

You want to get to truth, for validation for us all.

Thank you! Thank you for what you are doing. You are only trying to help find freedom and peace.

Please, I pray, for Grace and mercy.

Much love and thanks,
Me/Us